-Lanterns and Sunsets..

-I see my youth in your eyes.. My mistakes, fear, worries, disappointments, achievements, desires, hopes, prayers, dreams, aspirations, flaws and my shortcomings..

My bad habits, worries, fear and disappointments you tried so hard to make me let go of.. You always stood behind me no matter what! I shared a special bond with you! I love to share everything with you! Everything either good or bad! I had faith in you.. No matter what, you are the one true friend who will always be there for me either I rise or fall..

I don’t know why nostalgia hits me whenever I look at you.. Maybe because recalling what we used to be like is not difficult at all.. The memories linger around the corner, yet they’re still out of reach.. I like to take a look at them from time to time.. The color of your eyes, the smile on your face, your hair, beard, the way you speak, how you look at the sky and much more.. Words aren’t enough to describe what you meant to me! Something that was so true, raw, pure, intense and hard to describe!

I see paper lanterns and sunsets, empty takeaway cartons littering the floor of your apartment and dishes piled high in the sink.. The feeling of something new, of something that was going to last.. But I never saw fragility and thought of something prone to break.. I thought of rain in the desert and flowers growing out of concrete..

See, I never looked at us and thought “maybe this isn’t going to work” or “maybe I can only grow if I cut you off” but the thing that stares back at me when I look you in the eyes now scares me.. I see a person afraid of their own voice.. Someone who found beauty everywhere but not in themselves.. I’m older and mature enough now.. I know where to look for myself.. Where to find the parts I have lost along the way.. And I don’t need you to remind me who I am anymore..

Life is unpredictable so us as humans!! I never thought I could step out an inch without you.. It was hard to breathe! I lost myself long ago! I don’t have any regrets towards you! Because you was my dear friend and will always be! The part of you remains with me forever! When you left behind holding her hands you both moved into something everlasting and I was the one who suffered alone.. No one was there to see those pain and tears in my eyes! My screams, whispers, so many nights i cried myself to sleep!! But years past by and today I’m a better version of myself! I know how to fight with my own demons and how to overcome with my own fears, rejections, disappointments and pain.. Your scars made me stronger and more wiser.. So my dear friend I now want you to be happy too in your own world with your own wishes and desires! I always want to see you growing and glowing!! To see you achieving your goals, desires and achievements!

I am happy to see your little girl the mini version of you.. She got the same big eyes as yours, same hair color, the way how you laugh and stare! She smiles the same as you do full of life and with whole heart.. She must be the luckiest to have you around her all the time! Someone who will be with her till end! Someone who will protect her from all the harms of this world..

So goodbye my friend!! Your smile and voice echoes till today but I don’t want to look back! I am glad to see you happy too! The only thing that gives me ease is that we both live and breathe under the same sky..

I now believe that life can unfold so many things in the most beautiful ways!! With hardships and pain we evolve as a person.. Just have a pure heart and always be positive no matter what..

Goodbye my friend..